Eight Great Lessons From Working Dads

MSN Careers - Eight Great Lessons From Working Dads - Career Advice Article

Women aren't the only ones who find juggling work and family a challenge. Men, too,
are striving to find a balance between bringing home the bacon and spending
quality time with their families. Here are some lessons from working dads who
are successfully managing their work and home lives:



Lesson 1: Flexibility may be the key to happiness.

If it's possible in your occupation, adopt a flexible schedule. Today, flex
schedules are very common and range from compressed work weeks to telecommuting.
Propose a flex schedule that starts and ends early so you can attend school
functions or sporting events. Investigate opportunities to put in a four-day
work week, four 10-hour days, to free up a whole day for field trips or to be
home with the kids for an occasional in-service day or school holiday.



In his book "Working Fathers: New Strategies for Balancing Work and
Family," Jim Levine suggests coming up with "win-win" solutions
to present to your boss and asking for your boss' ideas to help you reach a
workable balance once your discussion is under way.



Lesson 2: Develop a strong relationship with your boss.

There's no question that having a solid and trusting relationship with your boss
has its benefits. A boss who recognizes your loyalty to the company, your
dedication to doing your best on the job, and your level of commitment to your
family is likely to become your greatest advocate when it comes to allowing you
time for family. Building a strong relationship takes time and is best
accomplished through openness, honesty and loyalty.



Lesson 3: Know when to say no.

There will be times in your work life when it may be necessary to turn down or
delay special projects or out-of-town trips in order to be present at an
important family event.



Alan Weber, a marketing manager for a medium-sized manufacturing firm, was asked
to attend a grand opening celebration for a new company warehouse on the same
weekend as his daughter's volleyball championship game. He told his boss about
the conflict and was excused from the grand opening. Had he not spoken up, he
would have likely missed this important event in his daughter's life.



Lesson 4: Do your homework at home.

Many men find themselves staying late at the office to catch up on paperwork or
e-mails. Instead, pack up your briefcase and laptop and plug in at home. Terry,
who works at an office in the city, shares his home office with his kids a few
nights a week -- they work on their school projects; he works on his sales
projections. Not only does this give them more time together, it reinforces that
everyone has to do their "homework."



Lesson 5: Take paternity leave.

While a fairly new option, a handful of progressive companies offer fathers paid
time off, ranging from a few days to a few weeks, following the birth of a
child. In July 2004, California lawmakers adopted a statewide family leave act
that allows workers to receive up to six weeks of partially paid leave per year
to care for a new child or seriously ill family member. There are some
restrictions, but the benefit will replace up to 55 percent of wages, up to a
capped amount per week.





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You may also consider taking advantage of the national Family and Medical Leave
Act (FMLA). Though unpaid, it does allow you to take up to 12 weeks off. Check
with your human resource or benefits representative to understand how the FMLA
applies to your situation.



Lesson 6: Take all of your vacation.

Many American workers fail to take all of the vacation time they earn, and some
who do often feel guilty about being away from work. But savvy working dads
recognize the value of time off from the office and time well-spent with their
families.



Jeff, who works at a metal fabrication shop, uses part of his vacation time to
attend summer Boy Scout camp with his 12-year-old. "It's a great way for me
to share a special time with my son, and I have a chance to relax in the
outdoors. I come back to work rejuvenated and feel a closer bond with my
boy."



Lesson 7: Fast forward 30 years.

Are you happy with the decisions you made? Take a moment and ask yourself,
"Is my work consuming me?" If the answer is yes, you may need to take
a closer look at your life to get things in better balance. Upon reflection,
rarely will a retired executive say he wished he had spent more time at the
office. Most often, you'll hear him say he would give anything to have spent
more time with his kids as they grew up. The lesson here is to take the time now
to figure out what's important and act on it to avoid regrets later on.



Lesson 8: Seize the day.

It's unlikely that whatever led to your out-of-balance life will change without
some personal intervention. After more than 15 years in sales, Jim Cozzi got
tired of the travel, long hours alone in his car, and missing all of his sons'
ball games. He recently decided to go back to school to get his teaching degree.
Not only will teaching provide him with a better quality of life, when he
graduates his kids will still be young enough to appreciate his involvement in
their activities. If your current job demands aren't likely to change, perhaps
it's time to change jobs.





Kate Lorenz is the article and advice editor for CareerBuilder.com. She
researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring
trends and workplace issues.