Eight Great Lessons From Working Dads

MSN Careers - Eight Great Lessons From Working Dads - Career Advice Article

Women aren't the only ones who find juggling work and family a challenge. Men, too,
are striving to find a balance between bringing home the bacon and spending
quality time with their families. Here are some lessons from working dads who
are successfully managing their work and home lives:



Lesson 1: Flexibility may be the key to happiness.

If it's possible in your occupation, adopt a flexible schedule. Today, flex
schedules are very common and range from compressed work weeks to telecommuting.
Propose a flex schedule that starts and ends early so you can attend school
functions or sporting events. Investigate opportunities to put in a four-day
work week, four 10-hour days, to free up a whole day for field trips or to be
home with the kids for an occasional in-service day or school holiday.



In his book "Working Fathers: New Strategies for Balancing Work and
Family," Jim Levine suggests coming up with "win-win" solutions
to present to your boss and asking for your boss' ideas to help you reach a
workable balance once your discussion is under way.



Lesson 2: Develop a strong relationship with your boss.

There's no question that having a solid and trusting relationship with your boss
has its benefits. A boss who recognizes your loyalty to the company, your
dedication to doing your best on the job, and your level of commitment to your
family is likely to become your greatest advocate when it comes to allowing you
time for family. Building a strong relationship takes time and is best
accomplished through openness, honesty and loyalty.



Lesson 3: Know when to say no.

There will be times in your work life when it may be necessary to turn down or
delay special projects or out-of-town trips in order to be present at an
important family event.



Alan Weber, a marketing manager for a medium-sized manufacturing firm, was asked
to attend a grand opening celebration for a new company warehouse on the same
weekend as his daughter's volleyball championship game. He told his boss about
the conflict and was excused from the grand opening. Had he not spoken up, he
would have likely missed this important event in his daughter's life.



Lesson 4: Do your homework at home.

Many men find themselves staying late at the office to catch up on paperwork or
e-mails. Instead, pack up your briefcase and laptop and plug in at home. Terry,
who works at an office in the city, shares his home office with his kids a few
nights a week -- they work on their school projects; he works on his sales
projections. Not only does this give them more time together, it reinforces that
everyone has to do their "homework."



Lesson 5: Take paternity leave.

While a fairly new option, a handful of progressive companies offer fathers paid
time off, ranging from a few days to a few weeks, following the birth of a
child. In July 2004, California lawmakers adopted a statewide family leave act
that allows workers to receive up to six weeks of partially paid leave per year
to care for a new child or seriously ill family member. There are some
restrictions, but the benefit will replace up to 55 percent of wages, up to a
capped amount per week.





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You may also consider taking advantage of the national Family and Medical Leave
Act (FMLA). Though unpaid, it does allow you to take up to 12 weeks off. Check
with your human resource or benefits representative to understand how the FMLA
applies to your situation.



Lesson 6: Take all of your vacation.

Many American workers fail to take all of the vacation time they earn, and some
who do often feel guilty about being away from work. But savvy working dads
recognize the value of time off from the office and time well-spent with their
families.



Jeff, who works at a metal fabrication shop, uses part of his vacation time to
attend summer Boy Scout camp with his 12-year-old. "It's a great way for me
to share a special time with my son, and I have a chance to relax in the
outdoors. I come back to work rejuvenated and feel a closer bond with my
boy."



Lesson 7: Fast forward 30 years.

Are you happy with the decisions you made? Take a moment and ask yourself,
"Is my work consuming me?" If the answer is yes, you may need to take
a closer look at your life to get things in better balance. Upon reflection,
rarely will a retired executive say he wished he had spent more time at the
office. Most often, you'll hear him say he would give anything to have spent
more time with his kids as they grew up. The lesson here is to take the time now
to figure out what's important and act on it to avoid regrets later on.



Lesson 8: Seize the day.

It's unlikely that whatever led to your out-of-balance life will change without
some personal intervention. After more than 15 years in sales, Jim Cozzi got
tired of the travel, long hours alone in his car, and missing all of his sons'
ball games. He recently decided to go back to school to get his teaching degree.
Not only will teaching provide him with a better quality of life, when he
graduates his kids will still be young enough to appreciate his involvement in
their activities. If your current job demands aren't likely to change, perhaps
it's time to change jobs.





Kate Lorenz is the article and advice editor for CareerBuilder.com. She
researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring
trends and workplace issues.

An HR Pro Learns to Handle Potentially Violent Employees

What does protection against violence mean in the real world, for a real, live
HR person? This case study of Jewell Ayella may hit home.

By Lynne McClure

---

Jewell
Ayella* works for a large manufacturing firm in Phoenix, Arizona. Like many HR
professionals, she didn't think about how to protect herself from potentially
violent employees until she found herself in the middle of an extremely
threatening situation. Perhaps her experience and the lessons she learned will
help other HR professionals take preventive measures before a situation gets out
of hand. Here is how the situation unfolded:

Ayella had been working in HR for seven years when employees in a department
that was unfamiliar to her started complaining about a co-worker named Don
Thompson. She asked them to tell their manager, Paul Lorenzo, about the
situation and said she would talk to Thompson as well.

In meeting with Lorenzo, Ayella explained: "The employees tell me that
some days Don is okay, but most of the time, he looks wild-eyed and acts angry.
His moods seem to go up and down and his co-workers are afraid of him."

Shaking his head, Lorenzo responded: "Look, I didn't want him here in
the first place, but his former manager and your predecessor put a lot of
pressure on me to keep him. He should have been fired a long time ago. No one
feels safe around him."

"Why wasn't he fired?" Ayella asked. "No documentation about
the behavioral problems?"

"You got it," Lorenzo said. "And now you're going to ask me to
start documenting, right? Well, forget it. He does his work and he meets his
deadlines. The problem is that no one, including me, wants to be around him. I'm
not documenting any of that—it wouldn't do any good anyway. Because behavioral
problems aren't included in the corporate policy, there's nothing to back me
up."

Frustrated, Ayella asked the threatening employee to come see her.

"Your co-workers are having a problem with you," she told him.
"It seems that your moods are, well, they vary widely."

"That's THEIR problem," Thompson yelled, hitting the top of her
desk. "You think I'm supposed to entertain my co-workers? Look, I have my
rights. Check my personnel file—you won't see a single complaint. In fact,
this new job came with a raise. I must be doing something right! The problem is
YOU folks in HR, always trying to get in good with management."

After her meeting with Thompson, Ayella starting getting voicemail messages
at home, threatening: "Don't mess with me."

When she started talking with Thompson's previous managers about his
behavior, the voicemail messages continued: "Keep digging, and you'll be
digging your grave." Scared, Ayella erased them all. Furthermore, one night
in the middle of this situation Ayella thought she heard someone moving around
outside her house.

The next morning, Bridget DeMaio, Ayella's manager, showed up in her office.
Noticing how upset Ayella was, DeMaio asked her to sit down and explain what was
happening. Through this conversation, it became clear to Ayella that she should
start looking out for herself. Giving DeMaio all her notes on the case, Ayella
made an appointment with the company EAP for some personal counseling, she
arranged for some vacation time, and she signed up for a self- development
workshop.

While Ayella was gone, Thompson hit a co-worker. DeMaio required him to take
a number of fitness-for-work tests, including a drug test indicating he used
cocaine. Although the company's policy didn’t address behavioral problems, it
did specify that failing a drug test would be grounds for termination. Thompson
was gone before Ayella returned.

Ayella came back to work with a new perspective. "I've spent a lot of
time thinking about the situation with Don and here's what I've learned,"
she told DeMaio. "First, when employees complain about a co-worker I should
go directly to the manager. Instead of alerting Paul to the problem with Don, I
let his employees catch him by surprise. By the time I did talk with Paul, he
refused to cooperate with me.

"Second, Paul's refusal to document was a symptom of a deeper HR
problem. There's nothing in our policies that states disruptive or inappropriate
behavior is a performance issue. No wonder managers won't
document—they don't have any backing.

"Third," Ayella went on, "I was pretty naive about Don. I
assumed he'd be reasonable, even though Paul and his co-workers said otherwise.
I need to pay more attention to what's really happening, instead of how I think
it should be.

"And the fourth lesson is embarrassing," Ayella said. "I
ignored the obvious clues that I was in danger. I kept showing up at work as if
nothing was wrong without admitting how scared I felt or how much at risk I was.
Then, when direct threats were made on my voicemail, I erased the
evidence!"

DeMaio smiled supportively. "How would you handle a situation like this
next time?" she asked.

"Well," Ayella said, "First, I need to build a support team
than includes my peers in HR, people in security, the managers I'm working with
and others. If we share information on a regular basis, I won't feel as if I
have to solve all behavioral problems by myself. Also, I need to document
everything problem-employees say and do. I have to save threatening messages and
ask the police to investigate them. And I need to call the police whenever I
hear someone lurking about my property."

DeMaio nodded her head. "Sounds good," she said. "Anything
else?"

"Yes," Ayella said, "First, the team I put together has to get
top management to support early identification of high-risk employees so problem
behaviors can be dealt with early before these employees do anything violent.
Working with top management, we must establish a policy that allows us to
address behavioral problems while they’re still manageable.

"Second," Ayella said, "I have to make it easier for everyone
to see the distinction between me and as an agent of the company in the HR role
by showing more concern about what employees tell me. For example, I could have
been more interested in hearing Don's perception of the situation with his
co-workers. I could have shown understanding about the problems he was
experiencing, and explained how the EAP could be used as a resource. Assuming
behavioral guidelines are in place, I could also have made it clear that even
though Don has to follow the same guidelines as everyone else, it was a
business—not a personal—issue."

DeMaio smiled. "Sounds like you're got a good handle on this issue.
Let’s move forward and implement what you’ve learned," she said.

* All names have been changed to maintain confidentiality.

*The information contained in this article is intended to provide useful
information on the topic covered, but shouldn’t be construed as legal advice
or a legal opinion.

---

Lynne McClure is a management consultant and an expert on workplace violence
with McClure Associates Management
Consultants Inc. in Mesa, Arizona.

Measure Your Soft Skills Smarts

Measure Your Soft Skills Smarts: "What are employers looking for?
It depends -- every employer seeks a different mix of skills and experience from a prospective employee. But one thing they look for consistently: Soft skills.
Remember the phrase from your report card -- 'works and plays well with others'? That's a critical soft skill, and there are many more, all of them important for any job in any industry.
Are you soft skills savvy? Take this short quiz and find out. "

DailyOM - Changing Careers

DailyOM - Changing Careers

August 19,
2005

Embarking On A New Path

Changing Careers

What we do for a living can be intimately intertwined with who
we are. Often, people expect to grow and thrive in one career over a period of
decades. For others, however, that expectation is unrealistic. As they
themselves change, they become dissatisfied with the profession that once
brought them joy. This is not unusual in modern times, where more and more
people are changing careers not just once, but many times over the course of
their lives. Because your career is a part of who you are, switching to another
can be a long and involved process that requires courage and determination. The
challenges, which can include stepping into unfamiliar territory, going back to
school, or learning to live on less income, are very real, but the rewards can
trump them. Changing careers, if done thoughtfully, can be one of the most
richly satisfying and exciting experiences of your life.



If for years your soul has been telling you that you would make a skilled
lawyer, a talented sculptor, or a brilliant electrical engineer, it's worth
investigating the possibilities. Or, you may be desirous of a more soulful and
fulfilling career but haven't figured out what it is yet. In either case,
explore. If you have identified a passion, research it. Talk to people in that
field and find out how they got there. Ask about the ups and the downs. If
you're unsure of a career path you might like to pursue, look toward your
passions, abilities, hobbies, and values. Determine what your ideal work hours,
income, commute time, and working situation would be. If you love the idea of
flexible hours or working from home, decide whether you would be willing to earn
less as a trade off. Look for careers that offer the type of work environment
and benefits you are looking for. Creating a new future takes time and effort,
and a willingness to delve deep into the positives and nega! tives of a variety
of careers.



Focus on your strengths, rather than skills you may be lacking. Seeking skill
training or the help of a career counselor can be helpful. It's normal to be
nervous when seeking out a new career, particularly if you are established in
your current profession. But the payoff can be true satisfaction in finding work
that you can love, and, it's never too late for change.